TSA Gone Wild!

A few weeks ago I needed to take a short business trip. I knew that I should take some time to check through the prohibited items on the TSA website, given the new liquid ban. I expected to be irritated, really really irritated. Instead, I was completely outraged and confused. What the hell are they doing over there at Homeland Security???

Ok, so it turns out that TSA is not really banning liquids. They're just banning the liquids that they feel like banning, but not the ones that are somewhat inconvenient to detect, or the ones where the public would revolt at a ban.

For instance, the gel filled insoles are entirely prohibited, but gel-filled bras are completely acceptable. Even the gel filled shoe heels are ok. An oz or two of mascara, forget about it, but an oz or two of cough medecine, go for it. Sodas are apparently a dangerous terrorist weapon, but breast milk is benign so long as you have a baby with you. Maybe I should figure out a way to get Coke to come out of my nipples and they'll let me bring it through. Oh, and perhaps my personal favorite, personal lubricants ARE permitted. WHAT? I guess they don't want to piss off those trying to make it into the mile high club. Let's see, one product used to moisten lips, Blistex--no, but a product to moisten other lips, KY--yes? Oh, and wait, you can have astroglide but not whipped cream or jell-o? Don't most adults use whipped cream and jell-o in the same way they use astroglide? The whole thing is completely bizarre, goofy, and pointless. Do they really think that this is going to stop terrorists? Even terrorists using liquid explosives? These reactionary policies make me want to tear my hair out. They needlessly scare and inconvenience people and in no way anticipate the next terrorist threat. Aaargh! I'm fed up. If you'd like to see the crazy rules for yourself:

link

After this irate post, I'll probably have my very own FBI file. Ahhh, I have arrived.